In This Corner . . .

Our littlest grandson is a violent sort.  He's seldom happier than when he is wielding a soyd (sword) or just generally kicking the crap out of his dad or grandpa.

He's always polite about the whole thing, asking nicely if Grandpa wants to beat him up.  If we say no for any reason, he's brokenhearted, but he'll find something else to do.  If Grandpa says yes, it's game on!

They have two arenas.  The first is in Grandpa's chair in the front room, and the second and most usual is in Grandpa's bed while Nana is trying to watch television at night.

Nana or Momma are important ingredients in the mix, because somebody has to save him when Grandpa gets him pinned.  We never put our hearts into any rescue, because before we can resume our original positions, he's back running up the front of his grandpa with a new can of whoop butt.  We finally had to tell him he was on his own.

The first time I told him I was out of the rescue business, he didn't believe it for one second.  We were in the bed arena, and as usual, Grandpa dumped him head first (gently) over the side of the bed.  He jumped up to his feet and looked at me with astonishment and said, "OK, Nana! Wheh wuh you?" He struck a new deal with me that each time I save him I get a hug and a kiss. Who could pass that one up?

Whether on the chair or the bed, Grandpa unfailingly pins the kid then asks if he gives up.  The standard reply is: Nevah!  

This is one pinned kid.  The only thing he can move is  his head.  Grandpa put him here one day last December and he started to get a little angry because he couldn't get lose no way no how.  He told Grandpa, "(Struggle, struggle) I bet when you were a little kid (struggle, struggle) Thanta didn't bwing you any Chwithmath pwethents!"

After he pleads for Nana to save him and she remains on her duff in the chair, he puts on the pitiful puppy dog face. He would normally put his little hands together in supplication, but it's kind of hard when Grandpa has his elbows pinned to his ears.  


He tells us Grandpa and Daddy beat him up best, and Mommy is kind of good at it. Nana isn't any good at it at all. She's only good for loves and kisses.